After Reading Carolyn's email to her daughter-in-law (Coursebook, p 40), what do you think? Do you think that Heidi didn't behave according to good manners? Do you think she should have written a thank-you letter? Should she have asked before having a second helping? Should she have waited for everyone to start eating?Write down you opinion on the comment below!
You may want to read the original article on the Daily Mirror.
And about the real wedding between Freddie and Heidi
11 comments:
I´ve read both articles. I don´t know who embarrasses me more, Heidi, Carolyn or the Daily Mirror.
Heidi seems a normal woman. I mean, I don´t know if she has "lack of grace" like Carolyn said (what an expresion!) but did she had to give an interview? She say that she didn´t want to call the attention, but telling that to a reporter of a tabloid doesn´t seem the best way to do it. I don´t know if they did it for their pride or the money for the wedding but, surely, that was´t polite.
About Carolyn, in my opinion, she was totally wrong, even if Heidi did some of the things she said. She looks like a snob villain of a victorian story. Besides, she gave an interview before (and, ironically, posed in the yard with an extremely lack of grace). I find hard to defend her in spite of Heidi´s indiscretion.
And finally, The Daily Mirror, who like a vulture is trying to get attention of a stupid notice. I mean, the mail was funny, ok, but cover the notice with two extended enterviews, cover to the wedding an write a lot of malicious coments is going too far.
Anyway. This class of journalism have a lot of public. I understand it but is sad for me. The original notice was funny. This circle is not.
Hello, I think those good manners seem get to nainteen century aristocracy rules. Nowadays, perhaps, the only one manner in use is to wait for everyone to start eating. Although we should ask us: who and for who the manners were written. We should remember that good maners aren´t the same in all countries.
I think that the good manners should never be lost. It´s a matter of being polite. But in this case it´s too much. Heidi has been meeting Freddie´s parents for five years and they already had enough confidence. I think that the subject is that Freddie´s parents didn´t accept Heidi because of her social status. But she was the future wife of their son and they sould acept her as she was.
Acording with the news I think that Carolyn was the person who had really bad manners writing the e-mail to Heidi.
Also, I think the damage that can make the networks. Heidi write an e-mail to some friends asking for advice. The friends, amazed, wote to others friends, and so the news comes to the magazines and one journalis of a sensacionalist magazine interwiewed its protagonists.
Finally, they got married, the parents weren´t at the wedding, and I think that the couple sold the wedding news.
I think Mrs Bourne shouldn't be so strict about good manners. I mean, you have to be polite when you're in other house but it's not necessary to be exaggerated, just try to enjoy the moment with your family. Personally, I don't agree with some manners of Heidi that I wouldn't do myself like start eating before everyone or be demanding with the food... But If Mrs Bourne loves her stepson she should speak to Heidi face to face first and try to put things in order with her, not sent her an email. I find that dry and coward and it shows that Mrs Bourne is a person who hide things and is not sincere.
Family behavior should not be like that...
I've only read the coursebook article.
In my opinion, Carolyn shouldn't criticize Heidi's manners, because she will be her daughter-in-law. Carolyn is very coward because she should talk to Heidi face to face. Emails are for another use.
I agree with Heidi in some manners, when you're invited to a house. you can give your opinion on your food preferences. Why not?.
However, I disagree with other, for example, when you wake up late in a house that isn't yours.
I think Heidi can send Carolyn's email to her close friends. Network is free, you can send an email to whoever you want.
In my opinion, the best thing in all situations of life is to be natural and free. When mother-in-law Caroline invites your daughter-in-law Heidi to their house she should try that Heidi feels comfortable in the house, not in a jail.
There are a lot of rules that seems to me outdated, but some people use these rules to impose their power over other people. In my opinion, Carolyn is the typical possesive mother who does not like his son as a girlfriend so she will always find mistakes in her daugther-in-law.
I think Heidi should ignore her mother-in-law´s email and write other email: Dear Carolyn, it has been wonderful to be with you at home enjoying your delicious food and also your pleasant company. I hope to return as soon as possible. A kiss from your dear Heidi.
I think that good manners are relative to each person and what is good for me, it isn´t to another person. Certainly, there are some manners more accepted than others.
In my opinion, maybe Heidi could have been more polite if she had waited for everyone to start eating or had thanked Caroline for her invitation.
In any case, I consider that writing a letter of thanks is exaggerated and Caroline´s behavior was much worse. If Heidi´s manners bothered her, she should have talked to her son or face-to-face to Heidi, in order to try to solve it. I think writing an email to complain about Heidi´s manners is cold and impolite and it doesn´t solve anything, quite the opposite.
I think in this case both of them were very impolite. Caroline and Heidi, bad behaviour, because the manners must always be present.
On one hand, Freddie's stepmother should never have to write about that weekend to Heidi to criticize her manners. Caroline, should have to be quiet, because everybody do not have the same behaviour rules.
On the other hand, Heidi should never have send the email on her friends because it is private and she should not have to do public.
Finally, I think it is a bad beginning in their relationship.
Irene Vera
The good manners always should be essential.
When somebody are invited in other house have to be polite, and keep the good manners like start eating before everyone or take a additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
These are basic forms of education!
However, if the invitation is from your mother in low, should have confidence to pass up something of this.
I think it isn´t necesary to be exaggerated sending an email of gratitude. It is enough if you say thanks at the end.
On both sides there must be respect and Heidi shouldn´t have to send an email for her friends, although she didn´t agree with this and Carolyn shouln´t have to send an email to Heidi, although she thinked that is was correct.
Both did bad tings and should talk face to face about it.
After reading the article, I'm not sure who has been the most correct.
Maybe both are very wrong.
In my opinion Caroline, Freddie's stepmother, has been too strict about of manners. I suppose that Freddie and Heidi have gone to spend the weekend in Devon it has been to know the family a little more.
Although Heidi is a guest, I think she can give her opinion about food or other topics. And if Carolyne didn't agree, she should spoke to Heidi face-to-face during the weekend, not send her an email.
On the other hand, I don't think Heide should have sent the email on to her friends, because the email was a private communication.
That is a serious lack of manners!
She should phone her to talk about the subject, and try to reach a friendly agreement...
I think when you are invited to spend time in an other house, you should have good manners, but, what are good manners? It´s very relative to each person.
For example, for me, I prefer to say that the food it´s delicious, even though I don´t like it and I like to get up early because I think sleeping a lot in another house is a little bit rude.
The good manners always should be presente.
I think Heidi and Carolyn were very wrong with each other, because if you don´t like something with te other person you need to say face by face.
Heidi shouldn´t have sent the letter to his Friends.
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